Smile

August 6, 2009
A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'

'What's that mean?' asked the child.

'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'

Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said
'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.'

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'

( YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! )

The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home .'
 

Things that are difficult to say when drunk. Courtesy of my pal Karen L.

August 4, 2009
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon


THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT
TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:


1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate


THINGS THAT ARE
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1.   No thanks, I'm married.
2.   Nope, no more booze for me!
3.   Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4.   Kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5.   Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonig...

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We all need a few laughs in this time of financial turmoil.

July 31, 2009
I was at my bank today. There was just a short line, one lady in front of Me .. An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
 
It was obvious she was a little irritated ..
She was asking the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla Of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty?  Why it change?"
 
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
 
The Asian lady retorted , "Fluc you white people too"'

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Tomato Garden - Funny

July 30, 2009
TOMATO GARDEN . . . .

An old Italian lived alone in  New Jersey  .  He wanted to plant his annual  tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his ...


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Great Jokes!

July 17, 2009
Jokes that made me laugh out loud - I just have to share.

Launch joke: 
I LOVE MY JOB

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!  
This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana

He performs underwater repairs on off...

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